drowning

sometimes I listen to sad songs on repeat and think about what I have done wrong
I think about the regrets, the curses, the lies and the hunger
I think about the lust and the sin and the guilt
I think about my dreams, my wishes and my hopes
I cry myself deeper and deeper
lower and lower
sadder and sadder
until I am encased in all the thoughts I try not to think about when people stare
 I swim in them and drown in them and wash up on the shore
I rot in them and sink in them and disappear forevermore

xx