sad

Here are the lyrics to Sad by Maroon 5:

Man it's been a long day
Stuck thinking bout it
Driving on the freeway
Wonderin if I really
Tried everything I could
Not knowing if I should
Try a little a harder
Oh but I'm scared to death
That there may not be
Another one like this
And I confess
That I'm only holding on
By a thin thin thread
I'm kickin the curb
Cause you never heard
The words that you needed so bad
And I'm kickin the dirt cause I never gave you
The things that you needed to have
I'm so sad... sad
Man it's been a long night
Just sittin' here
Trying not to look back
Still looking at the
Road we never drove on
And wonderin if the one
I chose was the right one
Oh but I'm scared to death
That there may not be
Another one like this
And I confess
That I'm only holding on
By a thin thin thread
I'm kickin the curb
Cause you never heard
The words that you needed so bad
And I'm kickin the dirt cause I never gave you
The things that you needed to have
I'm so sad... sad
So sad... so sad
Oh but I'm scared to death
That there may not be
Another one like this
And I confess
That I'm only holding on
By a thin thin thread
I'm kickin the curb
Cause you never heard
The words that you needed so bad
And I'm kickin the dirt cause I never gave you
The things that you needed to have
And I'm kickin the curb
Cause you never heard
The words that you needed so bad
I'm so sad... so sad

I just feel the need to post this because it's been a fucked up night involving both stupidity and guilt.

To explain, I saw a post-accident at school as I left that looked like Max hit Amanda's car so I texted my friend "Max hit amanda haha" but then I realized I didn't know that for sure and I shouldn't have sent it. When she responded with "in her car??" I responded with, "No. he ran her down!!" in what I thought was sarcastic text tone. These events continued with me feeding her lies about how she was paralyzed in the hospital with Max and Max was texting me what he heard and I passed it on to her.

At this point, she has shared the lies to Molly and Amanda's friend, and they panic because they think it is true. Luisa and I laughed the whole time because we couldn't believe Courtney was believing these far fetched details. (If we had known she was with Molly, we would have known how easy it is to get worked up with someone else)

So, eventually Amanda's friend called her to check and that is when all hell broke loose.

My friends have yet to forgive me and are "beyond pissed"

Luckily, both Amanda and Max have forgiven me

Ahhhh I have an essay to write, but instead I have been aimlessly getting sick with worry and guilt.

That's the worst part, they think I think it's still funny and that I don't feel bad. I don't know how to tell them I feel really guilty because when they called (oooh not so good) I acted really calm like nothing had happened because I am not an outwardly emotional person and didn't want to make them more mad but, god I can only do so much. I want people to understand being human means making mistakes.

So, that's my night, god look what fuckery I have created

Hope yours was a million times better

xx